This is a story I haven’t told many people and never thought I would feel comfortable to do so. However, I was inspired by a speech given by Beth Santos while attending a seminar today at The Women in Travel Summit. She spoke about women traveling and feeling safe to travel as a woman in today’s world. That we shouldn’t be expected to protect ourselves and that the cities we visit should learn to protect us, their citizens and tourists from danger.
As women, we all want the world to be like that; where we don’t have to avoid alleyways or carry pepper spray. As women, we should work together and support one another.
The perception of many women travelers are that men are the predators when we travel, but that’s not always the case. Women fight against one another and we need to work together to make the world a better place.
A few months ago, I toured Chicago with a female friend of mine. At the end of our weekend trip, we were spending our last night eating pizza at Giordano’s (Chicago’s famous deep dish) and touring Navy Pier. I was walking alongside her, on the phone with Shane, and carrying our box of leftover pizza when these 3 or 4 women were approaching us. The one girl looked at me as she was walking towards me and asked if she could have my pizza and unexpectedly reached for the box. Walking past her, I pulled the box away from her reach as a natural reaction. I hadn’t said anything to her because I was on the phone and everything was just happening so fast. All of a sudden, she turned and slapped my arm so hard that she left a mark. I quickly turned around and put down my phone and screamed at her wondering, “What the F***?!” Her and the other women started coming towards us acting as though they wanted to start something. As much as I wanted to fight back, we turned around and walked away. We walked away because we didn’t know if they had weapons or what they were going to do next and we didn’t want to get involved.
Come to find out, Chicago and other cities are in a race war. Still to this day I wonder, was it really about race? Or was it just females trying to intimidate others to make themselves feel better? I suppose I will never really know.
It’s a shame that women do this to one another when the world is already unsafe. No matter our color or race, we should be sticking by each other. Not harassing one another on the street. We get that enough from random men in everyday life. I shouldn’t be afraid of women when walking down the street, I should feel safe and connected.
So, if there is one thing that I would like to ask from one woman to another – if you’re walking down the street and you pass a woman, say, “Hello” and simply smile. Don’t look down, don’t look at your phone, don’t harass, just say a simple, “Hello.” We need to change this world, and simply being polite is one step towards ending a war.
Wow How scary for you! It is so unfortunate that in today’s world that there has to be unkind people and a race war in a world that needs more integrity, forgiveness, and love! Thank you for sharing your experience, even though I am shaking my head in frustration for you, I am glad you share it!
very wise words…thx for sharing your story
Great post! Why on earth would they pick a fight when you were minding your own business. Sad state of affairs in our country today.
That’s just a plain odd and scary story. Rude. I can’t even imagine. I’m truly speechless.
So scary! And honestly so very sad of a world that we live in …..
Wow, that is a crazy story! I think I am on the Naive side of life, and don’t even know what to think! I didn’t know about race wars!
That’s so crazy! I have never experienced anything like that. I can’t believe that happened to you. I wish everybody would just be kind and love each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
I so agree that we need to say hello! I think it is so sad. I never look at Race, but so many do. That is not how the world should be. We are all in this together, and we need to cherish each other’s differences and similarities. We all have value.
What in the world? That seems quite scary to me. I will be honest, some days I just have to avoid the news and the world is too peoply to me!
Wow! What a scary experience! Thank God you were able to walk away. If they wanted to start something they would have.
I am sorry you had to experience this. You did right by walking away. The world has become so scary and you never know what would’ve happened if you engaged in it.
Wow, that is scary. I am glad nothing more came of this. When I first started practicing law, I was a criminal defense attorney. I often found the women were more intimidating than the men.
Yikes! Sorry that happened to you. Good for you for standing your ground and not letting this coward take control. Great article!
WOW! It’s such a shame you had to experience that. It would be great if we could all find a way to live together peacefully!
When I worked at my college campus gym, we had a girl who would provoke others then immediately pull the victim card if they looked like they were about to get fed up. One day, she tried that with me, and I never thought I would see the angry military Petty Officer come out of me that strongly again. I cursed this girl out so forcibly that ALL of my coworkers and managers were slightly afraid to touch me. Keep in mind that for the four years I worked there, I was considered the PEACEKEEPER and am also 5’0″, so this flipped everybody’s world to witness such an explosion from such a tiny package! Fortunately, all of my coworkers, male and female, came forth to the managers and admitted to either being harassed by this girl or witnessed it happening at some point. She got suspended from the gym. Any time we got new hires (whom I was responsible for training), I was asked by my managers to share this story…
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Yikes! I feel in today’s world, there are so many conflicting messages. On one hand, you have a large group of people who want inclusivity and expect everyone to have compassion for all creation if you will (including those who break the laws-a recent bill introduced in NYS to let prisoners out after 15 years of doing time no matter the crime). On the other hand, there are still issues with race, bullying, etc. I commend you for sticking up for yourselves even though while reading your post, I was nervous that a gun may be shown/used as if I was watching a movie.
I am concerned the more compassionate we show towards everyone, the more we open up ourselves to risk – the double-edged sword!
I always try to say hello when passing people on the street. Maybe it’s rooted in my southern history, but I like to think it’s just common courtesy.
If you are walking and pass anyone, a smile and a hello are kind gestures. I do not know why any people feel the urge to be unkind to one another. Thank God that your experience did not turn into something more.
So, if there is one thing that I would like to ask from one woman to another – if you’re walking down the street and you pass a woman, say, “Hello” and simply smile. Don’t look down, don’t look at your phone, don’t harass, just say a simple, “Hello.” We need to change this world, and simply being polite is one step towards ending a war. I like this thought and I wish it would spill over everywhere. We’re all in this together.
Wow, i don’t know what I would have done in that situation. But walking away was definitely the smart thing. I’m glad you are safe!
That sounds really scary. Glad you were able to walk away. I agree we should support each other.
Oh, yes. There is really no way to know other’s motivations, but I just experienced my first episode of clear racism with one of my adopted sons. He’s pretty sweet and naive and VERY sensitive. Having the conversation of his skin color is going to be hard! Thank you for sharing!
That is so scary! I am glad you could walk away – who knows what would have happened. I agree with just smiling as you pass, saying a quick hello – we lived on the East Coast for a bit and a lot of people in the bigger cities seemed so angry all the time. When I did smile or say hello, I got the crazy person stare. It did, though, cause them to respond positively most of the time instead of just giving you the side eye.
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Ugh! Stuff like this is so crazy! I live in a rough part of Kansas City, and unfortunately, stuff like this is the norm with men AND women… The desire to start a fight with pretty much anyone just baffles me…
I’m so sorry this happened to you. We need to all stick together, both men and women.
Wow that’s frightening when something happens so unexpectedly like that. You are right, as women we need to watch out for each other and stand in unity. It starts with us, right? I like your suggestions to make eye contact, smile and say hello.
We live in a pretty safe a mellow area now (southern Utah).. but even here you see things like this. I firmly believe in “live and let live”.. it’s sad that as a society we cant either be supportive or leave eachother be.
Welcome to what it’s like to be a male growing up in America. By the time I was eighteen I had been in eight violent fights. Of those, maybe six were of the type where I was given no option but to fight or get beat upon. Two I started myself. Growing up with three brothers I was prepared to handle a fight, but if your children are boys (mine are girls), you should know that fighting is a part of the male experience, whether you like it or not. It’s best to prepare your sons for this, both in terms of knowing how to diffuse aggression, as well as how to smack it in the mouth. For my daughters, now in their twenties, I’ve done my best to teach them how to avoid male predators, as physically fighting against them, except in the most extreme situations, is not an option. Basically, secure your home, don’t travel through bad locations, run in packs and carry a non-lethal weapon. Finally, use your imagination to visualize in advance how you would handle yourself if you were physically attacked, so that should it happen you don’t become an hysterical victim. Sounds tough, but bad people are out there looking for victims – just read the headlines every day.
Oh, wow! We used to live in Chicago, but I never walked the streets without my husband, nor do I think we were ever there at night. I can’t imagine what that was like for you. You’re right, though ~ we as women need to be encouraging, inspiring and supporting each other. It doesn’t hurt to smile or say hello. Love this.